When we got there, a friend of his was playing catch with her sister and asked him to join. He went off and played with his friend while I went to work warming up. I was watching him while jumping rope and doing my jumping jacks. Finished with my warm-up I went to the playground equipment to find an appropriate height step to do my incline push-ups on. It was in my second or third set of push-ups I noticed some kids mocking me, laughing and looking away when I looked at them. These kids were probably early teens.
At first I shook my head thinking, "It's sad that kids mock people like this." Then I got proud, "Hell, I'm out here working on keeping myself fit in order to live a longer, healthier life." As time went on, I got sad. I remembered my time as an early teen and all of the mocking I dealt with for being overweight. Kids are mean to other kids. And yes, their mocking me brought that all back and made me hurt inside. Hurt for the girl I was, hurt for any impressionable child who is going through the same thing right now. I've dealt with my insecurities from my childhood for the most part, but I still remember.
I remember a guy I liked in high school asking me if I was pregnant because I was fat. Never mind I had never even been kissed. Those days of insecurity lead to years of depression and negative self worth. It took a lot of work to get to where I am today. A lot of tears and sweat. It doesn't stop the pain or insecurities from creeping up every now and again though.
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| I went from this in high school. |
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| Around 412, about 8 years ago |
To where I am today...
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| Goofy flexing picture during a progress photo shoot. |
1 comment:
Trisha, you should be so proud of everything you have achieved. But even at your "worst" as you put it, your beauty still radiates from your picture. the love you and Jonas have for each other and the joy you find with each other just glows! Those poor kids have insecurities of their own and are struggling to deal with them. The only thing they come up with is to try to find flaws in others so they can feel better. One is probably embarassed of his acne and another is probably going to have to get braces. Stay focused on your progress and what a great person and mom you are, and ignore those lost kids showing up in your peripheral vision.
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