When we got there, a friend of his was playing catch with her sister and asked him to join. He went off and played with his friend while I went to work warming up. I was watching him while jumping rope and doing my jumping jacks. Finished with my warm-up I went to the playground equipment to find an appropriate height step to do my incline push-ups on. It was in my second or third set of push-ups I noticed some kids mocking me, laughing and looking away when I looked at them. These kids were probably early teens.
At first I shook my head thinking, "It's sad that kids mock people like this." Then I got proud, "Hell, I'm out here working on keeping myself fit in order to live a longer, healthier life." As time went on, I got sad. I remembered my time as an early teen and all of the mocking I dealt with for being overweight. Kids are mean to other kids. And yes, their mocking me brought that all back and made me hurt inside. Hurt for the girl I was, hurt for any impressionable child who is going through the same thing right now. I've dealt with my insecurities from my childhood for the most part, but I still remember.
I remember a guy I liked in high school asking me if I was pregnant because I was fat. Never mind I had never even been kissed. Those days of insecurity lead to years of depression and negative self worth. It took a lot of work to get to where I am today. A lot of tears and sweat. It doesn't stop the pain or insecurities from creeping up every now and again though.
|I went from this in high school.|
|Around 412, about 8 years ago|
To where I am today...
|Goofy flexing picture during a progress photo shoot.|