Wednesday, April 27, 2011

No Emotional Eating for Me Today

The middle of week 3 brings some interesting things. Stress at the workplace had my stomach in knots.  Instead of eating my stress away like normal, I just wasn't hungry... so I didn't eat.  Realizing that made me feel really good about myself.

In my workout today, I changed a couple of things. I noticed my hands were probably forward a little bit too much in my push-ups.  I brought them back a little bit and instantly my push-ups seemed easier. I also did underhand body weight rows instead over overhand.  Oddly enough, underhand was easier too. And finally in my second day of assisted pistol squats I finally found what I was going to hold onto that didn't make me feel off balance and I could go down until my thigh was parallel to the floor.

BW Brigade Workout A:
Push-Ups: 20,15,15,18 = 68 (almost ready to level up!)
BW Rows (Underhand): 8,8,8,8 = 32
Assisted Pistol Squats: 10,10,15,20 = 55
Side Planks: L40, R50, L50, R60 = 200 seconds

It really was a great workout.  I felt wonderful afterwords.

Eating today... not a lot. A late breakfast at work, no AM Snack and no Dinner (I'm just not hungry).

Yummies consumed:
Breakfast: Ham, Tomato, Mushroom, Onion & Green Pepper Omlette with Bacon
Lunch: Pork Chop (Yes, I ate it with my hands, didn't bother cutting it), apple & steamed cauliflower... oh and 12 almonds
PM Snack: Carrots & Celery, some left over taco meat & veggies (about 1c total)

A little more on the work thing, I need to get it out...

I work in the IS/IT field as a developer.  Mainly I do SQL and Reporting but I can also do .NET programing. I'm also the business knowledge expert of our team.  Over the past couple of years, we rebuilt the system. We were able to do this by hiring consultants.  During their tenure, they programmed, but didn't document. One consultant was with us for two years.  We tried to hire him, but senior management declined the fee we'd have to pay the consulting company. So now, we're left with a HUGE knowledge gap... and me expected to support the system with the new developers. Today, there was a problem with some product orders.  I e-mailed the consultant and got a little direction, but he couldn't give more without us paying support fees.  My boss, while I love him, is trying to prove to management that we needed the consultant and they were wrong in not hiring him... and once they see that, because we're not keeping up, they might rethink.

The problem with this philosophy is me and my work ethic.  Me failing is not an option. I take it personally, that I am a failure.  It is why I am good at what I do, failure is not an option. I work and work until I achieve success.

Today's issue still isn't resolved. I left work feeling horrible, about to cry and sick to my stomach. While I feel great about the fact I didn't eat my emotions away, I still don't feel great about the situation at work.

I'm left not knowing where to turn. I've made the decision to stick it out until June when I'll be there for 5 years and be fully vested.  I love the organization I work for and the people I work with.  Right now, however, the situation I'm in... really sucks.

1 comment:

C.Fred said...

So let's restate the problem and what success and failure are.

Your tasks at work include to support your boss in his endeavours. That means both addressing the problem with the product orders (and the next crises in the pipeline) and helping him prove to management that you need the consultant back.

If you are able to fix the product orders, you have succeeded in addressing the problem.

If you are unable to fix the product orders, you have succeeded in giving your boss the evidence he needs to go to management to get the consultant.

So, even if you can't fix the product orders, the outcome is a success, not a failure. And your work ethic is an asset here because management will know you gave 190% to try to fix the problem—and if you can't get it, by golly, it's time to call in the cavalry.