Aminals and Salt Water Drops

So!  Things are going well over in my little corner of the world.  I just finished day 5 of my boot camp.  On my off days, I've walked.  Yesterday I took an awesome walk along the Chicago River.  I've even taken some walks on my boot camp days.  I feel more energetic than I have in a long time.  Oh such a glorious feeling.  I love when I break a sweat and it rolls down my face into my eyes.  It lets me know I'm working hard.

Now, that being said, my eating has been wonky.  I've had days where I'm not hungry and days where I could eat and feel hungry 20 minutes later.  I've not noticed a pattern as of yet.  Basically what I'm doing is logging when I eat and what I eat.  I've not been counting the calories, just being accountable to myself to write it down.  I've been eating mostly healthy, so that's all good.  My weight has been somewhat the same for the past few days, but I'm not worried about it.  I'm very happy with my progress these past couple of weeks.

Journal-ling has been an exercise I should have done a while ago.  There are so many thoughts and feelings I had hidden away that I shouldn't have buried.  It has been so freeing to get them written down.  Some days I don't write more than what happened during the day, some days, I write a lot.  But every day, I write.  No matter how little or big, I write.  Some of the things I discovered: I really need to learn to love myself again.  I'm not perfect I shouldn't expect myself to be.  I've learned from my mistakes and also realized that things have happened for reasons, and because of those things, I continue to grow.

Every single day, after I write... I finish the day's entry with a one sentence, usually 3 word statement telling myself that I am awesome, or I will succeed.  Whatever floats my boat for the day.  Because the most important thing of all of this is I am doing it.  And by doing it, I will succeed.

I'm not perfect, but I am awesome!

My plan is working.

Ok, granted, I'm 3 days down... but I am finding that recording everything in my little notebook with the times I eat is easier than hunting and pecking them online into a calorie counting program.  I've also found... evenings are the worst for me.  I mean, I kinda knew, but, this is just confirming it.  Even though I think... Man, I gotta write down that I just ate that! I will sometimes eat it, sometimes, I won't.  Eating wise, I'm eating well.  Even though I've had a couple of things I wouldn't consider perfect (gummy bears last night, for example) I wrote it down.

I'm also toying with green smoothies in the morning.  I made one with kale, kiwi and oranges the other day that was delicious!

I've done a workout/movement/activity of some persuasion every day as well.

I'm really impressed with the boot camp app I got. It is 18 workouts... at 3 workouts a week.  I'm doing a beginner routine with body and exercise tubes.  The first workout was a test of sorts... Record how many of each you could do in 2 minutes... knee push-ups, sit-ups and squats.  I think I did fairly well.  I got 35 push-ups, 30 sit-ups and 42 squats.  Let me tell you, I am one sore girl today, but it's a great kind of sore.  The day 2 workout, which could be done the day after the evaluation, was a interval workout of marching in place, jogging in place, high knee jogging, a couple Pilates moves and side planks.  The workout was 25 minutes.  The best part?  There is video coaching by the lady who made the program and they tempo adjust your playlist to the exercise you're doing.  I loved that... when it was time to jog, my music sped up!

Since it's a 3x a week program, I'm going to continue with the cardio-type workouts on the off days... walking, xbox dancing games or bike rides.  Something that makes me break a sweat.  If I'm not sweating, I'm not doing it right. :)

And I know this is a lot of water weight etc, but I'm down 5.2 pounds thus far. But still, it's 5 pounds!

Also, writing in my journal has been very beneficial mentally.  I've written down the feelings and thoughts that have been swimming around in my mind.  Getting them out of my mind has been a wonderful blessing.  I can feel the weight coming off of my heart and soul.

Starting Over Again

312.8

I hoped I would never see those numbers again. Three years ago when I went below 300 for the first time since sometime during high school, I cried for joy. This morning, I cried tears of pain. 

I let the failure of my relationship recently break me.  It fed the devils in my head that tell me I am not worth it, that I am fat and I just have to learn to live with it.  The devils were kept at bay during the relationship because there was someone there, someone who told me that I was worth it.  Someone who believed in me.  When that was no longer there, when I stopped hearing those things, my mind took over. 

Rationally, I knew none of this was real, I was dreaming up things that weren't there. Thinking thoughts I knew I shouldn't be thinking.  I ignored myself.  I fed my feelings.  I let the autoimmune disease I was diagnosed with and the steroids I had to take be the excuse.  But that's all they were, an excuse.

So now, I need to answer these questions: What am I doing to myself? Why am I doing it?

I truly do not know the full answers to the questions. I know I have given up on myself and I know that it needs to stop. I cannot continue going on this spiral slope. It needs to stop now.

I have the tools, I have the knowledge. Today is the time to kick it into gear. To begin again.

The biggest step to this begin again is not eat right. It is not to workout. Yes those are important steps, but they are not the biggest. The biggest step is the hurdle that is living inside my head. The one that says I need a reason, I need to find my motivation, and asking where I can look. No more. Because that reason, that motivation, that where I'm supposed to look, is all inside of me. It is me. I can't pull my reasons for being healthy from others anymore. I can't look for my motivation from everywhere else, thinking I'm not enough. When in reality, I should be enough. I should be the reason. I am worth spending the time and energy on myself.

I watch Biggest Loser. I don't watch it for the quick weight loss solution. I don't watch it for workout suggestions. I watch it for the mental struggles the contestants battle with themselves. Because, I see myself in so many of them. I cry with them as they figure things out. I then cry more, because I haven't been able to do that yet. I know the steps, but I can't jump the hurdle.

I had pondered joining into my office's Biggest Loser competition, but then I realized, I would be looking elsewhere for that motivation when in reality, I need it to come from me.  So I chose not to join.

My plan for the next eight weeks is simple. I am going to prove to myself I can do it, that I am worth it.  My goals for the next six weeks are to go through the motions of doing what I know I need to do. In doing all of these things, I will jump that hurdle in my mind.

Eating Goals:

• fruits and veggies. No limit. I must eat at least 8 servings a day.

• water. I got away from drinking it. I must drink at least 8 glasses a day.

• snacks. If I must, they should be fruits or veggies only.

• no more eating and watching TV at night. TV is off while we have dinner.

Fitness Goals:

• Walks at work during lunch time.

• Activity daily.  I grabbed a new app from my phone.  It has 18 days worth of "boot camp" workouts.  I'm going to do these as well as walking, bike riding and playground workouts. Rest days are important, but that doesn't mean I don't need to be active on those days.  Long slow walks are perfectly acceptable.

Life Goals:

• Log food and movement in mini paper journal with times.

• Journal.  I bought a paper journal this morning for this reason.  I need to write my feelings more.  I am seemingly afraid to put them out for others, I must, however, write them for myself.

Why eight weeks?  Well, the next NF challenge starts next week, but I started this yesterday.  That covers 7 weeks.  As there is generally a week between NF challenges, I plan on covering that as well. :)  My hope is that after eight weeks of going through the motions, I will see some real changes... not only in my body, but in my mind.

Physical vs Emotional

Since my bariatric surgery 8 years ago, it was grilled into my brain, "Don't let yourself get hungry.  Eat every 3-4 hours."

This is a very common thought pattern for morbidly obese people, or really anyone losing weight.  If you don't allow yourself to get hungry, you have better control over the amount of food you eat.  For me, when I felt hungry it was always something other than physical hunger.  But it wasn't until recently when I toyed with Intermittent Fasting that I understood that.

I knew I was an emotional eater.  I knew that I'd eat when bored, tired or sad. I would eat to fill holes in what I was feeling, or to cover up/not feel what I was feeling. Even after some therapy and medication to help with the depression, I still emotionally ate.

Think about it. Most happy family functions or friend celebrations revolve around food. So, to my brain, eating brought happy times. Times of love and laughter. Things I was missing in my everyday life.

When I came to Nerd Fitness and started reading about Paleo more in depth. Thinking about intermittent fasting... Not eating every 3-4 hours sounded so foreign to me. What exactly would happen if I let myself get hungry? What would my altered intestinal tract think of it? Could I do it?

The first day I did an IF morning, I felt good. I had black coffee and water from when I woke up at 5:30 until around 1pm. Why did I eat at 1? Was I hungry? I wasn't sure. What I was sure of, was I had a killer headache. I ate a good Paleo meal and felt better. Did I overeat? Not at all. Were the rest of my meals that day normal sized? Yes.

I continued this way for about two weeks. Waiting until afternoon time to eat. Listening to my body, ignoring my mind. By the end of my experiment, I knew what physical hunger, for me, felt like.

What did I learn? Don't be afraid to not eat on a schedule. Don't be afraid to let myself feel real hunger. Emotional eating, is exactly that. Me fueling my emotions by trying to fuel my body. Emotional eating will likely be a struggle for the rest of my life. However now, I know the difference (most of the time) and can work at controlling it with more knowledge. 

First Nerd Fitness Challenge of 2012

Being a nerd, I was trying to find a cleverly nerdy title to kick off the year. This one really works for me. And then, when searching for an image that would be awesome to put with it I found this one. (which is too big for the forum).

It states:

Just 3 steps to enjoy your life - Ctrl + Alt + Del...

1. Control Yourself
2. Look for Alternative Solutions
3. Delete the situation which gives you trouble

Main Challenge Goal!
My main goal of this first challenge of 2012 is to restart my journey within this awesome community so I can lean on y’all for support and count on you to kick my ass when I’m being a dufas. My weight loss goal for this 7 weeks is aim for 30 pounds. Yes, that is quite a lot and if I fail, that is OK, but that is my goal. I think, given that most of my weight is from steroids and eating wrong... as I'm getting weaned off the 'roids and eating super clean, the weight will melt off pretty quickly.

Food

• 100% Paleo, Autoimmune protocol
  • Eliminate: Grains, Nuts, Seeds, Eggs, Tomatoes, Peppers, Dairy, Potatoes, Legumes (inc green beans). I’ll still cook with butter.
  • In Feb, reintroduce one at a time for 1 week, see if any reaction. Reintroduction will be in this order: Eggs, Green Beans, Peppers, Tomatoes, Nuts/Seeds. Leave out grains, diary, all other legumes and potatoes.
  • I’ll be gauging reaction by not only how I feel but if I notice any difference in my skin and the effects of the vasculitis.
  • Side Note: Fruit, I’ll limit to at max, one serving a day, but aiming to stay away for the most part. Fruit for me is usually either apples or berries.
• Because my main goal is weight loss, I do need to pay attention to maintaining a calorie deficit. Due to this, I will be logging my food into MyFitnessPal as well playing with DietSnaps and PaleoTrack to see if once I get the hang of things, I can stop keeping such a close eye on things (calories), and more just do a general knowledge check.

Fitness

• Strength Training via Primal Blueprint Fitness 2x a week.
  • Starting Levels:
    • Push-Ups - Level 1 (Wall Push-Ups)
    • Overhead Press - Level 1 (Elevated Jackknife Press)
    • Pull-Ups - Level 1 (Chair-Assisted 2 Leg)
    • Squats - Level 4 (Full Squat)
    • Plank/Side Plank - Level 1 (Hand/Knee Plank/Side Plank)
• Active/Play 3x a week for at least 30 minutes per day. This can be in the form of walks, playing Kinect with mini-me or anything else that gets me off my butt and sweating.

Life

• Come up with design for basement renovation. This includes finding a free drafting/drawing thingy to “blueprint” the design (which covers my learn a new thing every month goal)
• Complete two Art/Crafts Projects.
• Read two books.

Possible Challenges Foreseen

• Mini-me’s 10th birthday is on the 12th. He wants Chinese food and a donut cake... Working on this! Wonder if I can everything myself and make it paleo... That could be a challenge goal!
• Because my mom is ill and currently very restricted on what she can do, and that she is/was the primary caregiver of mini-me as well as my sister’s mini-mes, we’re needing to switch things up and change who cares for the minis. It seems I’ll be having the three minis every weekend or a combination thereof... This could become interesting.

Liquid Awesome

So, it's a new year and I've decided that I'm changing things up with my diet and my blogging.  I'm going to aim to post some recipes of things I make at home.  Since I have a ton of kale at home, I decided to make some soup.  After thinking a bit, I thought "Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana!"  Only... it's made with cream and tomatoes... both of which I'm not eating right now.  So, I give you my version!

Trisha's Sausage Kale Spinach Soup aka "Liquid Awesome"

I started off making the broth using pork neck bones.  I pan-fried them up in some olive oil, dusted with a couple pinches of salt.

Neck Bones inna Pan!

Neck Bones all browned and yummy.

One all nice and brown I added them to the stock pot and filled it with water.  I let the water come to a boil and scrapped off all the scummy white stuff.  That is pretty much just nasties from the bones floating to the top.  Skim it off, let boil for about 10 minutes until no more nasties surface.

Nasties!

Once it was good and clear I threw in a bunch of veggies.  In my case it was mushrooms, sugar snap peas, carrots, onion and green beans.  Oooh!  And some garlic.

Floating veggies in stock!

I let this boil for 1.5 hours then strained the stock and split it in half. (I was making two soups)

Stock is ready for straining!

Now, time to get the Liquid Awesome making.  To start, I cut up and cooked 4 slices of bacon.

Bacon!

Added about 10 baby carrots cut up.

Bacon and carrots!

Then a pound of Sage Pork Sausage and cooked until no longer pink.

Sausage, bacon and carrots.

I dumped the meat and carrots into the stock and got the veggies.  For this I used a head of purple flowering kale and a bunch of spinach.  I roughly chopped them up and added them to the soup.

Purple food is so pretty..

This is one colorful soup!

Mixed everything all up and let it cook for a few hours in the crockpot.

I love the colors!

 The kale lost it's color, but the flavor of this soup is spot on.  It was so delicious the kids were eating it and loving every bite.

My bowl of "Liquid Awesome"

Some days...

Some days you feel lost.
Some days you need a friend.
Some days you want a hug.
Some days you just need a place to spew your thoughts.
Some days you just need a place to vent.
Some days you just want to throw the towel in and give up.
Some days you want to fight.
Some days you just want to walk away.

Today, I feel a lot of these things.

There is so many things going on in my life right now.  While I try to eat well, I've not been.  I start my days off well enough and then somewhere along the line, my eating turns to crap.  It's easy.  This creates a viscous cycle. I eat something I shouldn't be... I feel bad... I want to eat more, because eating does something in my brain that makes me feel less sad/bad/depressed... So on and so forth.

My emotions are out of whack.  The medications I'm on are doing funny things with my brain and my body.  They maybe normal things for the drugs, but they're funny things to me.

The medications aren't the only thing effecting me.  I've had a really hard time of things with "the great move-out" and failure of relationship.  All of this happened at the same time and things snowballed.  Things within me, my emotions, feelings, thoughts...

I don't like feeling so... lost and out of control of my life.  Days like today, I want to throw the towel in and say "screw it".

But then I remember... no, I want to live a healthy, happy life.  I don't want to be in this cycle that I've been in for the past few months.

I've reached out for help from a friend and it helps, a lot actually.. He helps me with my eating.  We talk about our faith and are even listening to a sermon series together... which is helping me in my own faith tremendously.  Yet, I hate feeling so dependent on someone else for the help.  I feel like I need so much at times, that I'm going to end up smothering him with my thoughts and feelings... my crying out for help.  So I end up holding things back.  Which isn't going to help me in the long run.  I need to find a happy medium on reaching out for help when needed and trying to help myself some without feeling so lost.

I have a lot of things I need to work on.  My eating, my exercising, my faith, my health, my budget and spending and just general feeling like my life is on track.  I've been working on creating my list of goals for 2012 and my sub-list of goals for a six week Nerd Fitness challenge that starts on Jan 2nd. I'll be hitting on all of the areas I need to work on, but not in a way that I'll feel overwhelmed.  I need to remember that on top of everything I am a single mother who works full time.  There are only so many hours in a day and I need my sleep!

dietSNAPS Log - Dec 17, 2011

Dec 17, 2011 9:05 AM

Breakfast

Eggs and brisket!

Dec 17, 2011 11:40 AM

Snack

Making cookies at mom's house.. I tried 4. One of each kind.

Dec 17, 2011 2:40 PM

Lunch

Canned chicken, laughing cow cheese and BBQ/Tabasco/French dressing sauce.

Dec 17, 2011 5:25 PM

Dinner

Mcdonalds bacon angus burger and 1/3 of large fry.

Dec 17, 2011 10:00 PM

Snack

@Toni's - corn pops and gummy bears

Dec 17, 2011 10:30 PM

Journal Entry

Today's eating started off well, but needing to first watch my mom (she's sick) and then my Niece and nephew, it just went to heck. I'm not stressing about it.

Sent from my iPhone

dietSNAPS Log Dec 16, 2011

Dec 16, 2011 7:10 AM

Breakfast

Eggs, cheese, deli chicken and hot sauce.

Dec 16, 2011 8:10 AM

Journal Entry

I have a nasty ass of a headache today. I'm chilling out for a bit before I head to the doctor about the vasculitis. Hopefully today was my last steroid. I need to get back on track. I've not been eating as horribly as I was pre-December, but I've had a few setbacks. I'd like to see those stop. My goal for the rest of the month is to ignore calories and track using pictures and this app. I'll post to the blog at the end of the day. This will keep me accountable to y'all and myself. Eating is my largest part of the battle. Once I can handle this, I'll up my exercise again. Right now, I've just been walking. :)

Dec 16, 2011 8:40 AM

Journal Entry

Dr appt. BP- 130/82 Weight - depressing I have to stay on the prednisone.. It's only in my skin, but I still have to be closely monitored. She increased my cholchicine to twice a day. :(

Dec 16, 2011 12:50 PM

Lunch

Tuna patties with mustard, pickles, steamed sugar snap peas and a pear with cinnamon.

Dec 16, 2011 3:55 PM

Snack

Dark chocolate and pistachios!

Dec 16, 2011 7:25 PM

Dinner

Dickey's Brisket, green beans and pickles!

Dec 16, 2011 9:05 PM

Journal Entry

Today, albeit emotional, was a good eating day. I spent a lot of time thinking about where I want to go eating wise. I'm pondering following an autoimmune paleo protocol starting after the first of the year for six weeks and seeing what happens. I'm happy with my food choices today.

Sent from my iPhone

dietSNAPS Log - Dec 15, 2011

I'm testing seeing what happens if I email post my dietSnaps log. :)

Dec 15, 2011 6:05 AM

Breakfast

Eggs, salsa and bacon!

Dec 15, 2011 11:50 AM

Lunch

Holiday party... Salad and chicken

Dec 15, 2011 2:55 PM

Snack

Almond mix with dark chocolate and tea for the train.

Dec 15, 2011 5:30 PM

Snack

Ham and cheese snack.

Dec 15, 2011 7:30 PM

Dinner

Dinner out with family. Forgot to take a photo. Dinner was at Kelsey's Steakhouse. I had salad with garlic dressing, a porterhouse steak and red potatoes. Yum!

Sent from my iPhone

December 2011 Goals

I have decided that I'm fed up with the way I've been living for the past few months.  Sure, I've got reasons for it, but I'm tired of using excuses for not living a healthy active lifestyle.  Today, that changes.

I reached out and told a friend, I need help.  He suggested that I come up with a list of goals for the month of December as well as for 2012.  I'm still working on my 2012 goals, but they will be broken up into the same categories that I've broken my December goals into.

I've broken my goals into five "F" categories.  Fitness, Food, Faith, Family & Finances.  Each goal has a point value and there are bonus points earned for every pound I lose.  Based on the number of points I earn by the end of the month, I've given myself a list of rewards I can earn.  I created a Google Doc spreadsheet to track my points every week.  I'll post my progress every week as well.

December 2011 Goals:

Fitness:

• Workout 20 minutes on 20 days.  This could be any workout, as long as it's 20 minutes
• Restart the 100 push-up program.  3 push-up sessions a week.  These will be done on my knees

Faith:

• Attend 6 church services
• Read the Bible using the Bible App on my phone and the 90 day reading program
• Finish up the devotional: Need Him: Finding God using the Bible App on my phone
• Jonas & I will do the Christmas/Advent devotional readings

Food:

• 90% Paleo (Breakout: 50% fat, 20% carbs, 30% protein)
• 1 or less servings of fruit a day
• Aim for less than 100g of carbs a day
• Track food via MyFitnessPal

Family:

• One game night a week
• Two family fun nights (Jonas' choice)

Finances:

• $100 into saving account (min)
• $20 per week for offering

Total Goal Points: 400

Rewards:

• 400+ Points: Kinect Workout Game
• 300-399 Points: Movie Night
• 250-299 Points: Board/Card Game
• 200-249 Points: Book

Its been a while...

I realize it's been a while since I last posted.  So much has gone on, so many emotions have run high, I didn't want to post and sound whiney.

So what's happened?  (in bullet point list form!)

• The boyfriend-type moved out and away 500ish miles.
• I have some small blood vessel disorder and have been on a slew of medications to try and make it lessen,these medications are mainly a steroid and a toxin.  Fun, eh?
• I've stopped eating Paleo for a while due to recovering finances and mental health.
• I've stopped exercising for a while, mainly due to the flux of chemicals in my body and not knowing which way is up.
• I'm working on finding myself, again.  Doing this by going back to church, spending some time with me, thinking about where I am and where I want to be.
• Working fiendishly on increasing my knowledge in the Business Intelligence world.

So, now that all that has happened, what are my plans?

• I need to start eating better again.  I felt so much better, physically and mentally while eating cleanly. 
• My plan is to start following the bulletproof diet. This is a Paleo-esque diet.  
• Basically what I'll eat in a day looks like this: 1-2 servings of fruit, 4-6 servings of animal protein, 5-9 (50% of daily calories) healthy fats, 6-11 servings healthy vegetables. 
• Why?  There is a very strict layout of what is good, what you should avoid and what falls in the middle.  I need a better guideline than eat animals, fats and plants (fruits/veggies).
• I'll also start tracking my food again, mainly so I know how many servings of each I'm eating.
• I need to start working out again.  
• Right now, I have two walking races scheduled.  A 3 mile walk on Thanksgiving and a 5k a few weeks later.  Both of these are going to be done with Jonas.  
• I am not comfortable doing any jogging or heavy lifting right now.  Raking for 30 minutes made my hands break out into painful sores/rash from the vasculitis.  Until we can stop playing round robin with steroids and toxins and can get this under control, walking and some body weight exercises are about all I'm going to aim for.
• I need to make sure to get at least 7 hours of sleep at night.  Since I wake up around 5:30, that means bed by 10 at the latest for me.
• Go to church every Sunday.

That's about it for now.  As these plans start getting put into effect, I'll write more.  They will slowly get put into place as I am ready.  Today, I'm working on letting my adjust to the increase in steroids before doing more than making sure I get enough rest and don't eat everything in sight. It's one step at a time.  Baby steps for me.

Challenge #4 Begins

The new Nerd Fitness Challenge has begun.  A lot is happening over the next six weeks.  I planned my goals around that, planning for days that will be hard to stay on focus.

Eating Goals:

• Primal, following The Primal Blueprint
• Other than below mentioned events, there will be no straying.  If I stray, I shall have to do 200 kb swings (Thanks CB for the idea), and tweet it for my public (well, fellow NF-ers anyway) humiliation.

• Menu - Create and follow it
• Water!  Not Crystal Light, Water!  (Ok… tea and coffee too)

Fitness Goals:

• Following the Primal Fitness eBook, (except I'll be doing 3x Lift Heavy Things per week)
• 1 Day Sprinting - 50 Meter running sprints, 6x per session. (Sunday)
• 3 Days Lift Heavy Things - Push-ups, Pull-Ups, Squats, Overhead Press & Planks (MWF)
• 3 Days Play - These will be mostly Jonas lead activity days, min 30 minutes per day, can be broken up into multiple play sessions.  Total time aim is 2-5 hours per week. Walks during my lunch breaks count towards my total time here. (TRS)
• Side Note: Tuesday: Family Skate Night, $5.50 per person includes skate rental… Done!

Life Goals:

Events: 

This go around we're going to go with things that will be happening in the next six weeks and how I'm going to deal with them.

• Family Reunion 9/10 (aka The Family Hootenanny): There will be paleo friendly food.  I'll have it and nothing else.  I'll also stick with water to drink, no moonshine!
• Dad's Birthday 9/13: I'll bring my own food for dinner & have 1/2 cup of ice cream, no cake.
• The Big Move Out 9/24 & 9/25: A lot of emotions will be running high this weekend.  My goal is to stay on goal no matter what emotions hit me.  There will be NO binge eating.
• Sister's Birthday 9/29: She's due to be having a baby any day, I am off this day so I will offer to make dinner for everyone.  I'll also have 1/2 cup of ice cream.
• New Baby's Birthday (Someday soon!): I can visit the hospital and not eat bad hospital food.  I can eat before I go so I'm not tempted to eat on the drive to the hospital.

Personal Fun Stuff:

Because I need some fun and excitement in my life!

• I'm putting in a reading goal.  I read a lot, but never really kept track of the number of books or anything.  So my goal is 6 books, yep an average of a book a week!
• Knitting Project - 500 rows complete by end of challenge.
• Hang a rope from the big tree in the backyard, try to climb said rope!

It's Called Being a Responsible Adult Stuff:

• Relay the back patio (Yes, this will be fun.  Lifting 50ish bricks, laying black paper and sand then putting the patio back into place).
• Weed the flower beds, put down more mulch.

Baked Chicken Thighs & Patty Pan Squash

This morning started with a trip to a local farmer's market.  Every week when I go, I like to try something new. This week, it was a patty pan squash.

Thanks to a "Chicken Fairy" I also have a ton of chicken parts (legs, thighs, breasts).  So dinner tonight was a combination of Baked (and stuffed) Chicken Thighs and the patty pan squash.

So what did I do with the squash?  I cut it up, put some butter, salt, pepper & fresh basil on it and cooked it in the oven, at 425 for about 40 minutes.  The result?  Tasty.  Not something I could eat a ton of, but it was a good side to the dish.

Onto the chicken.  I chopped up half a red onion, a couple basil leaves, some butter and put it into a bowl with a spoonful of crushed garlic.

Then, I peeled the skin off the chicken legs some, making a pocket and stuffing a spoonful of that mix under the skin.

When that was all done, I brushed the skin with some olive oil and dusted it with salt & pepper.

Into the oven they went!  425 for about 40 minutes...

Golden, brown and boy was it delicious!

My plate.  I also cooked up some green beans I had gotten at the market with a bit of the red onion and added a side salad of cucumbers & tomatoes from my garden, tossed with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. This dinner was totally primal/paleo. As you can see, it was a lot of delicious food, most of which I picked or bought from the farmer's market this morning.  It was easy and quick (an hour total) to make.

Overall, this dinner got two thumbs up and a full tummy.  The chicken was so moist and delicious.  I will be doing similar techniques in the future, trying different "stuffings".

What do you guys think?  Do you like seeing various recipes that I make from time to time?

We're Being Chased by Bears!

So I've been thinking about what to do for the next challenge. I decided that this week off between challenges is no excuse (especially when you consider I've not worked out in 2 weeks) to slack off.

So Jonas and I went to do a sprinting workout last night after dinner.

I told him we were walking to his school playground for our workout. He wanted to know if we were doing "rowboats". I explained to him, that no, we weren't doing body weight rows or lifting heavy things, we were going to play a game. So we discussed the rules for "We're Being Chased by Bears!"

Rules:
There were 6 sprints, running as fast as you could.
We'd map out approximate 50 Meters to sprint. (It ended up being around 30, I later calculated)
We would take turns chasing each other to pretend we were running away from bears.
If you were caught, you had to do 5 push-ups per time caught. First time, 5 push-ups... second, 10, etc.
The "predator" gave the "prey" a bit of a head start.
We would go into a "grok squat" between sprints while we caught our breaths.

We had a blast! I did one extra sprint where he timed me. I clocked in at just under 9 seconds.

When we were done, he asked if we could jog one lap of the laps he has to run for gym class. Since the laps are around his playground, and mostly rectangular, he decided that after the last turn we had to sprint to the end. We finished a lap in 1:25.

We then walked home, talking about how we were going to map our the rest of our week with workouts. He's very excited about both the body weight "Lift Heavy Things" workout as well as the "Play" workout, which he asked if we could do "rowboats" during the play if we did them during the lift heavy things. I told him he'd have to come up with fun stuff for our play "dates" but if he wanted to do the rows, we could.

We also talked about "eating our special way" and how he enjoys the variety of his lunch, but eating breakfast at my mom's house wasn't always easy to "eat special". She usually makes him pancakes or oatmeal and bacon/sausage. I figure the one meal is OK for him (given it's not all sugar), for now. He's easing into eating primally, later we can move his breakfast to something more primal too.

So, in short... my kid is awesome.

Challenge #3 Final Report

Report Time!

You'll notice a pattern below, I did good the first 4 weeks, the last 2, eh… not so much. This is due to the changes happening in my house and the amount of stress that is all bringing.

Eating Goals:

• 100% Paleo
  Not quite, but I think I did very good at this considering everything going on at home.
• Fruit 1 serving per day, choosing between: Berries or apple (apples are accessible if I forget my berries at home). Try to only do an apple once a week.
  I actually did really good at this. There were quite a few days where I didn't have fruit and didn't feel a pressuring need to.
• Nuts 1oz per day. These will either be pistachios (which I'm still trying to figure out how much 1oz is with the nuts in the shells) or almonds.
  Same as fruit, there were days I didn't have any nuts, and a couple I had more than planned.
• I will not be logging my food into a calorie counting program, however I will be logging everything I put into my mouth and my feelings each day. This is vital to me figuring out what my triggers are.
  I did really good for the first 4 weeks but the last two I didn't log anything. My triggers? Stress. Which I already knew.
• Create a weekly menu on Saturday for the following week. Post it. Follow it.
  Again, did really good the first 4 weeks. I need to keep doing this, it kept me on par for where I needed to be.

Fitness Goals:

• BW Workouts 3x per week
  I got these all in the first 4 weeks. The last two, I did maybe 2 workouts.
• Cardio (biking, walking, chasing my kid, etc) 2 hours per week
  This is the one I probably got closest to doing all 6 weeks. I didn't hit 2 hours each week, but I did get out and do things for all six.

Life Goals

• Knit every night on the Dr. Who scarf I started 2 years ago for my brother's birthday so I can finish it for his birthday this year. (Fun!)
  This so did not happen. The first 3-4 weeks I did alright, the last couple I so did not want to pick up those knitting needles.
• Take my kid to hiking twice, once at Starved Rock State Park and once at Indiana Dunes State Park. (Fun!)
  This didn't happen at all.
• Continue working on budget, cutting down spending such that I can put money into savings every month. (Adult)
  This I've gotten under somewhat of control. I've spent this six weeks trying to catch up on everything so I could implement the budget I created. We've been living on a very minimal budget because of this. Things should be even out in the next month. Five more months until my CC debt is paid off!
• Update my resume and put it out there to find a job closer to home. (Adult)
  I've not updated it yet. I did find it. Oddly enough, my boss is finding me a job elsewhere… with him. Hah!

Starting Weight: 273
Ending Weight: 276
- I did lose 6 inches over all my measurements tho.

This whole, I've not lost weight in so long thing is really pissing me off. I know stress is effecting it, but really, it's pissing me off. I still have quite a bit of weight to lose. I can use the excuse, "You've lost 140 already, you've got a lot of skin hanging around." But in reality, I have a lot of fat too. The fat should be coming off quicker and it's not. I can't fathom that I'm losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time. I really need to figure this out for the next six weeks or it's going to drive me nuts.

Overall Grade for this challenge? C

I've had some wins, some losses, but overall I averaged out somewhere in the middle.

Words

Words have been floating through my head for the past couple of days, but have escaped somewhere between my head and my fingers.  I have so much floating through that I lose the topics on my brain before I have a chance to get them out.

A new chapter in my life is in the works.  Things will be changing. Due to this, I need to do some changing as well.  Fear grips me when I think of all of the changes that will happen. My words and thoughts escape to the point I can't concentrate on anything but that fear. Yet, I know, change happens for a reason and because of change, we can grow. I know I will grow and become a stronger person in spite of these changes.

How will this effect my personal goals with my journey to a healthier person? I'm not 100% sure yet. Exercise has been difficult for me to get in for the past week due to some family obligations.  Since eating properly is 80% of the game for this journey, I am focusing on that.  I will exercise when I have time until things settle into a routine again.

Stress & Addiction

I am a stress eater.

To say that I've been stressed recently is an understatement. Due to the stress, I've done a lot of thinking about my own ties to stress and my addictions to food. I have noticed over the past few weeks that my drive to stick to my eating lifestyle plan (I am not on a diet, I am changing my eating lifestyle), has fallen by the wayside.  80% of the time, I do fine.  The other 20%, I fall way off my plan. Eating is a something you can do anywhere, no matter what you're doing.  It's an easy addiction to have when stressed.

Something better for me, say exercise, isn't as easy to do when I'm sitting at my desk, stressing over the idiots who are driving me to the point I feel I need something to eat.  Something, anything…

Somewhere, back in the recess of my mind, I know I could stand up, walk around, go outside or stretch instead of reaching for something to eat. Yet, there are days, I just don't. For this reason, I bring snacks to work.  Usually, snacks that are on my eating lifestyle plan.  Days like today, however, I get up, go for a walk and grab a bag of pretzels. Do the pretzels make me feel better? In the immediate, for about 30 seconds?  Yes.  After that, when my mind kicks in, or worse yet, my body says to me, "WTF did you just feed me?!", it is a resounding, very loud, "NO!"

So, my thoughts today revolved around, what can I do to feed my food addiction, when I feel the need to stress eat?  Other than actually eating?  I decided, I really need to make two lists.  One for while I'm at work, and one for while I'm at home.  Each list has 10 items on it.  My goal is to pick one of the items and do it.  If I still feel the need to stress eat, do another one… so on and so forth.  If I somehow manage to get through the ten items, then I will grab a healthy snack and write down what I'm thinking and feeling.

Non-Food Stress Relief For Work

• Get up from my desk (leaving my wallet & money), take the elevator downstairs, go outside and walk around the block.

• Drink a glass of water, don't sip, drink it all, top to bottom.
• Close my eyes and take 10 deep breaths.
• Turn on my "Dancing @ Work" playlist of bouncy tunes and dance in my chair.

• Open up Nerd Fitness Forum and gain some inspiration from others who battle the same things I do and still manage to succeed.
• Take a walk to the bathroom, do down dog in the lobby for 20-30 seconds.  Sit in chair and take 10 deep breaths.

• On really bad days, beat the living crap out of the office voodoo doll.  Preferably when the object of my stress isn't at my desk.

• Clean my desk.
• Walk around the office and look at the pictures of people we help, they are worse off than I am and desperately need my help.
• Angry Birds - blowing up pigs for 5 minutes should relieve stress.

Non-Food Stress Relief For Home

• Grab something heavy, lift it 10 times!

• Go out for a walk.

• Play a game with Jonas.

• Read a book.

• Watch a movie.
• Go to the park and play on the swings.
• Do my workout.
• Clean the floors, or walls/windows/table/whatever else needs cleaning.
• Drink a glass of water, a really big glass.

• Leave the room, go to my bedroom, lay down, close my eyes and concentrate on breathing deeply for 5 minutes (if I fall asleep, it's better than eating, right?!)

So there we have it.  I have a list of 10 things to do wherever I'm at that should help me stop stress eating.  I'll continue to bring my healthy snack to work (with an addition of roasted seaweed when I find it and pick some up) and have my scheduled snacks and meals.  But the between time, stressful eating will be replaced until I can get rid of the enormous amount of stress I'm under.

Week 4 Wrap Up

Week 4 Wrap Up

Eating Goals:

• 100% Paleo: Close? I had 2 meals that were not overly paleo.
• Fruit 1 serving per day: Saturday I had a few extra servings of fruit
• Nuts 1oz per day: I actually didn't eat nuts very much this past week
• Logged food: Even though I caught it up today, yes.
• Menu: Created and Followed pretty well.

Fitness Goals:

• BW Workouts 3x per week: Done. I started following the Primal Fitness workouts on Thursday (2nd workout of the week). I like the format, even though the reps are higher. I still have a ton of fat to lose, so as long as I gain a bit of muscle along the way I'm good.
• Cardio (biking, walking, chasing my kid, etc) 2 hours per week: Nope. I got about an hour in. Not overly worried about this one though. The higher rep circuit BW style workouts are a cardio workout too!

Life Goals:

• Knit Daily: I don't think I even looked at the knitting project this past week...
• Hiking: Sadly, this one isn't going to happen. Only having Jonas 3 weekends for the summer, we had other things that had to happen.
• Budget: It's... going. I'm hoping in the next 4 weeks (2 paychecks) to be all caught up with late payments.
• Resume: Found the external hd with the resume.

Overall? I'm happy with my progress so far. Which is by far the best measurement of my success.

Random Updates

I realized today that I've not updated in a while. So, as I am sitting here waiting for dinner to be ready, I figured it was a good time for an update of sorts.

Exercise Front:

This week I finally read The Primal Fitness eBook from Mark Sisson. I decided it was a really awesome set of exercises I could do at home (or a park) with excellent progression milestones.

Yesterday I did the self assessment and figured out what levels to start at. Not surprising! Level 4 in squats. Level 2 in push-ups. Level 4 in plank and Level 2 in overhead press.

Tomorrow I have a virtual date with some Nerd Fitness friends. We are going to do our workouts at the same time. It gives me motivation to push through and rock at my workout.

Eating/Nomming Front:

Things here are going really well. This week I gave up fake sugar (aka crystal light). I've had a goal to drink a gallon of water at work. Met it 3 days and got close the other two! I'm trying to get more protein in during the day. So far so good!

Life and Other Stuff Front:

I've not knitted much. Lack of desire.

I'm planning on hiking on Sunday afternoon.

Work and work possibilities are going swimmingly.

Bills should be caught up at the end of the month so I can stop living paycheck to paycheck.

Oh! And I got my bodyfat retested by the gym trainer. In 3 months, I've gone down 8%! Not only that, I stayed the same weight. Know what that means? Yep! I put on as much muscle as I lost fat. How awesome is that??

Well, food is here and it smells great. Time for me to bid adeiu!